When we want to forget

I believe that it’s common knowledge that we all have things that we want to forget. Often times, the things we so desperately want to forget are the hurts, especially the wrongs committed against us. But what about our thoughts? Has there ever been anything that surfaces in your mind that you wished you couldn’t see, in your minds eye?

It could be a nightmare that you just can’t seem to forget. It could be an image of a horrible accident. It could be images from a horror movie that has left you feeling unsettled and fearful. It could even be an image that you associate with something you regret.

I have to admit that there has been a lot of things that I want to forget and never remember. Just to mention a few: when I was young, I had reoccurring nightmares of experiencing tornados. I also had a fear of going to sleep, because I thought I would wake up blind. Then there were the nightmares that came from watching movies that, I believe, nobody should watch. Those images were stuck in my head and there seemed to be no way to get them out.

All of these things, among others, instilled fear within me that I couldn’t shake. It would leave me paralyzed in my abilities to deal with everyday struggles.

I think of this today, because all of those fears are gone! It’s very interesting, though. I remember about those things, but I don’t see the images that recreate that fear in me. Yes. Sometimes they try to surface and present themselves, but I refuse to let my mind go there.

There are so many things in the Bible that, I believe, we fail to completely capture.

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.Romans 12:2 NIV

When we think about the Romans 12:2, we can often take from it that we are to seek to renew our minds by reading the Bible and to learn Gods ways, but there is so much more to it.

My fears were a pattern of this world. They did not come from God. When I made the decision to follow Jesus, I still dealt with a lot of fear, even though I did not realize it at the time. Being introduced to the idea of reading the Bible on a daily basis was something I wasn’t so sure about, but once I started to read – and gave thought to what I was reading – I would begin to feel peace come over me. My Bible became the one place I could go to just be me. It was where I could think about all I was dealing with and address them. When I read my Bible, I would also pray. I was raw about it. I didn’t try some sort of formula. I just got honest, not only with myself but with God. Doing this would start a journey that would change everything for me.

To Be Continued…..


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What was I thinking— writing this book?

For those of you who have read my blog posts, you might have begun to learn a little about me.  There is so much more about my life to learn and what drives me to do what I am doing.  I honestly don’t like sharing much about my past, because, well, people judge.  So often people choose to take what you have said and find ways to use it against you.  Why is our honesty somehow considered offensive to someone who had nothing to do with what you have said?  Unfortunately, it is the world we live in; honesty isn’t readily welcomed.

But today, something deep down inside me said, “Cynthia, you must tell them why.  Tell them why you wrote the book, When The One You Love Doesn’t Love You Anymore.”  I considered doing a video to place on the front page of my website, but that voice told me that later could be too late.  I know, without a doubt, that it was God’s voice that expressed to me that today is the day to share this, not later.  So, friend, here it goes.

I grew up in the suburbs of Dallas, Texas, in an area known for gang activity and crime.  It wasn’t the worst part of the city, but where we lived wasn’t too far from some of the worst crime areas.  Growing up, it wasn’t out of the ordinary to hear gunshots at night, and— trust me—nobody was shooting a deer to feed their family.  I remember being shot at one evening as I drove a friend home.  The police were called and guns were drawn as a road-block was set up to secure the area.  It was an intense night, and us girls, only around the age of 17, stood in disbelief and terror in the reality of what was happening. 

The environment that I grew up in did not leave room for dreams.  Many people who grow up the way I did struggle to succeed.  In the years to follow, our family went through a lot of changes.  Some changes were good, and some were not so good.  As an adult, I would find myself married and then divorced, not once, but twice.  I found myself, for years, dealing with depression and with no help.  There wasn’t availability to get counseling, and there wasn’t anyone to throw me a rope to pull me out of the pit I was in. 

THEN there was the day that everything changed.  God came to me in my lonely and depressive state and comforted me in ways that are hard to describe.  That day, I met God for the first time!  It is a day I will never forget!  That day set me on a path that changed everything and led me to places I could only dream of.  I met God, and I met my purpose!  I really struggled in so many areas of my life.  I am now a changed woman blessed in so many ways – some of those blessings are even things I never knew to dream, but they are awesome! 

You may ask, “So, why did you write that book, Cynthia?”  What is my answer?  I wrote this book, because you DESERVE to know.  You DESERVE to know the truth about life, and that life as you know it can be sweeter than anything you ever tasted.  Not too sweet, but that perfect balance of sweet that makes you laugh and experience joy like you never have before.  This is what it feels like to experience the love of God.

So, my friend, you DESERVE to hear the truth about what it is like to put your past behind you.  You DESERVE to experience success that doesn’t come from the toil of your own hands but from a diligent, gratifying working of the hands.  You DESERVE to experience true love.  You DESERVE to know that there is a way to overcome alcoholism, drug addiction, fear, stress, anxiety, financial crises, divorce, tragedy, the loss of loved ones and ALL of your struggles, no matter what it is.    You DESERVE to know what it’s like to not worry.  You DESERVE to know what it’s like for someone to die to save YOUR life.  You DESERVE a chance to change everything for the better.  You DESERVE to know Jesus.  And who am I to keep Jesus from you?  Who am I to choose who is blessed and who isn’t?  Who am I to keep all these things to myself?  It was never just mine to keep.  It was given so that it could be shared.  It was given so that lives could be saved.  It was given so you, too, could know what true love is.  This is why I wrote the book.

Go forth and be blessed, my friend.



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